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Toddlers & Tantrums

Let’s recall the last time you had to get out the door in 5 minutes, you’re grabbing the last couple things

to put in your Mary Poppins bag and then… BAM! Right on cue - toddler meltdown! I’m not talking

about the small whining melt. I’m talking the drop to the floor, scream at you because he doesn’t want

to put on his shoes... OR what about the car meltdown? When your kid discovers a new octave and all

you can do is reassure yourself, “Only 10 more minutes until we’re home! We can do this!" Ooh, you thought that only happened to you? Well, take a deep breath and have a little chuckle because I’m here

to let you in on a little secret. Every parent has been there AND will be there again.


Toddlers are amazing tiny humans. They have all the thoughts and emotions we experience as adults,

yet all of that is bundled up in a little body with limited vocabulary. I understand a tantrum as an

expressive example of mental processing. They’re simply learning. Learning about their emotions.

Learning how to communicate. Learning how to switch gears. Think about it. When things don’t go our

way, often times we act out too. We’ve just learned how to manage our outbursts. Well, most of us

have at least!


Even with understanding tantrums, these moments are not easy. Tantrums can pop up out of nowhere,

when you least expect them. Tantrums don’t care what type of mood you’re in and they really know

how to test your patience. These moments require mental toughness, alignment, and a whole lot of

grace.

I am proud to say that I have handled these moments calmly and patiently. But then again, I’ll be the

first to admit I have met these exact moments with frustration. I’ve reacted when I should’ve

responded. I wish I could be a calm, levelheaded mama at ALL times, but I am human and there’s times

my emotions get the best of me. And that is normal too! The most important part is that I catch myself

as quickly as possible. The moment I realize I’m letting my emotions get the best of me, I align myself

ASAP.


Now, I’m going to break this down in a detailed fashion. This is my mental process when my toddlers are

having full-blown tantrums and I’m seconds away from losing my cool.


1. Call yourself out and meet the moment with grace.

The moment you realize you’re frustrated or irritated, call yourself out. The sooner the better. If you can

catch yourself before you react, you win! But seriously, sometimes the perfect storm ensues. Your toddler has a tantrum at the most inconvenient time. Instead of being empathetic, you tell them to stop

with a disciplinary tone. Immediately after you realize you’ve reacted or are about to react out of

frustration, meet yourself with grace. As a parent, it’s really easy to guilt yourself. I shouldn’t be irritated

right now. I totally handled that wrong. I’m a bad parent. Don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all been there.

Hey, we’re learning too! Simply forgive yourself in that moment, move forward, and do better as soon

as you can.


2. Align your energy with your actions.

Kids reflect your ENERGY, not just your words and actions. If you’re stressed in response to a tantrum,

they will continue to feed off that. So calm yourself and act accordingly. This is where you literally drop

everything and meet your toddler where they’re at. It’s not a let me finish this and then I’ll come help.

The sooner that you can SHOW your child you care, the sooner the tantrum deescalates.


3. Realize your priority and pick your battles.

Your priority is the health, safety, and wellbeing of your child. Not whether you’re running late or if he

doesn’t want to wear shoes right now. Try not to put added stressors on the situation. If it's safe for your

kid to walk to the car without shoes on, then let it be. If your toddler just had a full on meltdown, the goal is to get him to a balanced state. [Life Rule: You can’t reason with someone when he or she is emotional.] Once you get to the car and your toddler is calmer, then it’s time to explain why we put on shoes before we leave the house.


Raising tiny humans is a roller coaster. One moment you feel like you have everything figured out and

the next you’re questioning every decision you made that day. Was I too harsh? Should I be stricter? Am

I enabling her? Am I letting him walk all over me? These thoughts simply show we care. We aren’t going

to get everything right. We’ll continue to parent by trial and error with the best intentions. If I could

wish for ONE thing we can all do as parents, it’s to raise our tiny humans with LOVE.


Now go tell your kids and your parents you love them!

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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I'm Katrina! A proud wife + humbled mama making the best out of life and staying centered among the chaos

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